Tuesday, 31 May 2022

Tallinn's worst restaurant

Last week there was much hype about the culinary scene in Estonia. The Michelin Guide had completed their tour of Estonia and named the restaurants that impressed them the most but have you ever wondered about the other end of the spectrum? What are the worst restaurants in Estonia? Which ones should you avoid? I'm not aware of many but the number one restaurant to steer clear of in Tallinn is Caffè Centrale.

Located at Kullassepa 4, Old Town Square, Tallinn.

Last summer I had the very unpleasant experience of visiting Caffè Centrale for the first and only time. I've walked past this restaurant hundreds of times and never once felt tempted to go inside, mainly because whenever I visit Estonia, I prefer to eat Estonian cuisine, you can eat Italian food anywhere. Unfortunately, last August I foolishly dined there and bitterly regretted it afterwards. It was a complete waste of money.

It happened by accident really. I was in Tallinn with my family and my brother said he knew a great Estonian restaurant he once visited with his friends and suggested we should have dinner there. Eager to try it out, we followed him to where he thought the restaurant was, only to find he had forgotten the exact location. I asked him if he remembered the name of the restaurant but he said no. He was sure it was somewhere near the Viru Gate but he was mistaken. So, walking back to Raekoja Plats, we considered a few other places, before we found ourselves back near our hotel when someone said 'why don't we just go here?' We were standing outside Caffè Centrale.

So what's so bad about Caffè Centrale?

From the moment I sat down at the table, I knew Caffè Centrale was not a quality restaurant. Firstly, the table was dirty and I had to wipe it clean myself. The waiter was completely useless, we had to ask for menus and we had to ask to order,  he took no initative what-so-ever. I was surprised he couldn't speak Estonian, in fact he barely spoke English either. When the wine arrived I found it overpriced, considering the size of the glass, and everyone found something to complain about with their meals. We ordered a mix of pizza and pasta dishes and I would not consider one of them acceptable. Too oily, undercooked, not enough toppings. One of the things I found the most puzzling was where the food actually came from. The waiter carried the food in from outside which meant the kitchen was in a different building to the restaurant! I watched this in utter amazement.

Thinking about Caffè Centrale now I realise it's the only ''Italian'' restaurant I've ever been to that has not been run by Italians. It's quite unusual in that regard. The only thing this restaurant has got going for it is its location, it may attract tourists but I sincerely doubt it gets repeat customers. If I had to describe their food in one word it would be 'slop'.

I recently had a look on Trip Advisor to see what other people thought of Caffè Centrale and I found many had had even worse experiences than mine. I read through the reviews and had to laugh at some of them, they were truly awful. A common theme was dirty glasses (one person ordered a glass of sparkling water but the glass smelt of beer), soups with a greasy layer of fat on top, pizzas with barely any cheese and undercooked meals. One person said the waiter asked to borrow their lighter to light the candle on their table, while another annoyed customer said the waiter took away one of their menus to give to another table (before they had even ordered) because they didn't have enough. 

Caffè Centrale is truly an abominable restaurant and I feel duty bound to say something about it. It's the number one restaurant to avoid in Tallinn.