Sunday 26 November 2023

Estonian Latvian Jokes

Estonia and Latvia share a border of about 339 kilometers and also have deep historical, economic and ecclesiastical ties going back centuries. There has always been light-hearted banter between the two nations which is no less prevalent today. Estonians poke fun at Latvians as it is rumoured they have six toes on each foot, and Latvians stereotype Estonians as being slow because they like to think before they act.

Here are some typical Estonian / Lativan jokes.

A Latvian wants to renovate his living room, but doesn't know how much wallpaper to buy. Then he remembers that his neighbour, an Estonian, has exactly the same living room and that the Estonian just recently made repairs there. So he asked the Estonian how many rolls of wallpaper he had bought.

"Twelve rolls," the Estonian replied matter-of-factly.

In a couple of days, the repair will be completed by the Latvian, but there is still a lot of wallpaper left over. Scoldingly, he goes to the Estonian again and said: "I had four rolls of wallpaper left over from the repair!"

The Estonian replies matter-of-factly: "Everything is correct. I also had four rolls left over too".


Two Estonians are walking along the road. Suddenly someone says: "Look, Jaan, a dead bird!"

"Where?" the other looks up to the sky.


A group of five Latvians arrive at the Estonian border driving an Audi Quattro. The border guard does not let them pass saying "you cannot enter Estonia, there are five of you, but your car is an Audi Quattro, one of you needs to go". The Latvians start to protest and demand to speak with a supervisor. The Estonian border guard says "no problem, but you guys need to wait. He is dealing with three Lithuanians who are trying to sneak into Estonia in a Fiat Uno".


An Estonian arrives home early from a business trip and discovers his wife in bed with a black lover. For a moment, as if getting angry, he sits down in a chair and with great relief, wipes the sweat from his brow and sighs from the bottom of his heart: "Thank God it's not a Latvian!"


What does LV mean on license plates of Latvian cars? – Extra toe (Lisavarvas).


Three Estonians are fishing.  At 7am the first one says - "no fish". At 2pm the second man says - "still no fish". In the evening the third says - "of course, there are no fish, because you chat all the time".

(Latvians joke that Estonians are not very talkative).


A Latvian is in a bar telling a man about the time he was making fun of an Estonian for being slow.  "What happened?' the man then asked. "The Estonian beat me up the day after". The Latvian replied.


What happens when the dumbest blonde from Estonia moves to Latvia? The average IQs of both countries improves significantly.